In Ecuador we spent our days doing construction and landscaping at the only adventure camp in the country. The mission of the camp is to bring Jesus to people through adventure. I spent a lot of time praying this month during work. They didn’t have groups while we were there, but I got to pray for the ways they were going to encounter God when the got there.

Part of the construction we did was finishing a retreat cabin. I spent a lot of time going up and down on questionable ladders and trying to overcome my fear. I don’t have a fear of heights, but if of falling. If I could’ve been hooked up to some sort of device I would’ve been fine, but in Ecuador that wasn’t an option. My team convinced me to find some work on the ground. Switching made me feel like a failure because I thought I was supposed to be overcoming my fears. I realized I was pushing myself in order to prove a point. I also realized I was putting my identity in something it never should have been: myself and the standards of the world. 

Before the Race, I worked hard on finding my identity in Christ and quoting scripture about who God says I am, but somewhere along the way I stopped reminding myself of those truths and started listening to lies.  It was gradual. So gradual I hadn’t realized I was back to living in the lies. It’s easy to say be on guard or be aware, but it has to be a daily choice. I have to choose to listen to what my mind is saying and correct the lies with what the Bible says. If not, it’s easy to get trapped and feel defeated. 

On the ladder I also realized I love my life going from one thing to the next and waiting for what’s to come. I miss what’s happening in my life because I’m always looking to what’s ahead. These four months (almost five) have flown by and I’m worried about wha I’m doing when I’m done. While painting a wall I realized at some point I have to start living my life not waiting for life. For now that means focusing on the ministry we are involved with and trying not to think about what happens next. For now that means being present in conversations with others around me and not being alone in my thoughts. For now that means finding people doing their daily things and joining beside them and getting to know them not smiling and letting people pass on by. 

While Ecuador may not have been as relational as the last few months, the Lord is still working and showing Himself to me. A relationship with the Lord isn’t chasing the highs and the experiences, it’s about living life and watching how He shows up in the ordinary.